Life after a divorce is often complicated by a lack of money, especially if the family has children, and the ex -husband does not provide material assistance. How to cope in such a situation?
In handling money, it is important to learn a simple principle: you need to reduce expenses and increase income. This is the only way to get out of the money pit into which many women fail after a divorce. I know this is very difficult, you have no strength. But here’s the trick: as soon as you level the situation – at least to the level of “I have enough money, and no one needs to borrow” – will significantly increase. And you can spend them on more pleasant things.
If you got into a monetary hole, discard the metaphorical shovel, do not bury yourself even deeper. It is impossible to deal with debts if they increase. If you use credit cards, take them into the cabinet and do not get it for several months. Every day during which the amount of debts does not grow, brings you to the light at the end of the tunnel. If you categorically lack money to reach the end of the month, use the second step.
Yes, that’s right, even completely penny. It doesn’t sound very pleasant, especially if you could easily afford a manicure or a spontaneous purchase of a handbag. But this will save you and, quite possibly, will allow you to quickly return to the times of “pleasant expenses”.
A serious approach to budget planning can change your life. Problems with finances arise, in particular, due to a misunderstanding how much money we have and how many of them it takes. If it seems that you are well represented by your income and expenses, but you have never painted the budget to a penny, you do not know anything about your financial situation.
There are a lot of free applications that help to track expenses. If you are uncomfortable to use them, get a notebook, Word or Excel file. First write down all the income, even the most insignificant. Do not leave unaccounted even the smallest receipt of money. Write down what dates they enter. After that you can take on expenses.
Mandatory monthly payments, food, clothing, public transport or gas expenses should be scheduled specifically, according to points. How much does a tube of toothpaste cost, loaf of bread? How much you have to pay for a new toothbrush and how often you plan to change it? Details the scheduled budget will allow you to see when and what you can save on.
I felt so guilty that I tried my best to make amends with endless expenses on children’s desires and whims. But after all my
stoops went to pay for loans and debts for a rainy day, I was finally able to stop. Repeat my path is not necessary. The main thing is to know: huge spending on children will not solve the problem. You will not feel better thanks to this, and the children too.
Remember: the more stable your financial situation becomes, the less stress you experience. The less stress, the happier the children. And the happier the children, the easier it will be for you to enjoy each other’s society, instead of spending huge amounts on entertainment parks, shopping centers and expensive toys that do not delight children as much as it seems to us.
If you are unbearable to pronounce the phrase: “We have no money for this,” replace it with: “Now it does not fit into our budget for a month”
I somehow found out that instead of going to the water park, my eldest daughter wanted to dance. You know what she did? I got a job as an assistant in the dance studio, and she was given a big discount on training.
Faced with a situation where we cannot afford something, my daughters and I are looking for possible solutions together. And if you are unbearable to pronounce the phrase: “We have no money for this,” replace with: “Now it does not fit into our budget for a month”. It would seem that the difference is not so great, but this distracts attention from the negative aspect and reminds you and children if they are already conscious that you are going to certain financial purposes.
“It’s easy to say,” you thought, having read this item. Of course, everyone has different situations, areas of activity, education and the number of children. All this is certainly important. No matter what position you are now, you will have to make difficult decisions: to abandon something desired or agree to something less convenient. Or quite uncomfortable – for example, carry a child to a free circle to the other end of the city, because you can’t afford mugs next to the house. But such a choice stands every day before each. We can only proceed from what we have at the moment. And, having carefully analyzing the situation, you can understand that you do not earn enough.
At some point, I realized that I could not live with two children for an assistant salary. So, having weighed all the pros and cons. Received a certificate of advanced training, and I was raised in position. I had to take a loan for training. Fortunately, it was possible to do this through the employer, so the amount turned out to be not sky -high. I still pay this debt, but I try to do it as quickly as possible and spend all the “extra” money on it. I would never know about this opportunity if I had not asked a question at work.
Do not be afraid to ask and ask for help. Often, possibilities are at an extended arm distance.
